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Solano Stories

The Ultimate Challenges Of Our Faith

Written By: Rex Solano - Oct• 08•14

Despite my physical condition due to a surgical operation which restricted me from traveling, heavy lifting, bowling among other things, I made a very risky decision that plausibly would have endangered and compromised my health. After receiving sad news from my cousin that my mother had suffered a stroke, I felt like a rumbling rock was trying to crush me against the wall. As I was told, my Mom was confined in the Intensive Care Unit at St. Gabriel Hospital in Kalibo. Without any hesitancy, my wife and I took immediate flight to my home place in the barrio of Ondoy. Sadly, it was indeed very traumatic news and disconsolate to hear after having had a good conversation with her the prior week on the phone then the most painful setback she had ever incurred. I renounced myself to the probity of any given circumstances that I will still be able to see my mom alive. At the age of 90 years old, I concurred with God’s will that the equilibrium of our own fate and destiny is in His hands. Gone now are the splendor and past glories of what my mom and I were trying to envision about the progress of greater tomorrow. Oh yes, we always talked about the good old days, our future and how I would be able to continue supporting her financially till she reached the age of 100. For so many years I was able to make her happy whenever I called her on Friday afternoon (Hawaii Time) which is Saturday morning in Philippines. She was always in her usual mood, happy and vibrant, and so inspired to tell me all about her new-found craze and that is to widen the horizon of her business. She sought my advice of what kind of business would be best to deal with especially in a small barrio of Ondoy where the discountenance of poverty decries so loud for mercies. Surprisingly, she did not vent her desire to solicit from me furthermore. But I promised her that I will go home this coming January 2015 to help and support her business endeavor, maybe at some point, be able to expand to her business venture if the opportunity arises. She was so ecstatic to hear of my pending vacation, much more trying to convince me to come home in August to attend the Ondoy Senior San Roque fiesta instead of January. I told my mom that I cannot go home in August because I just had a neck surgery (Fusion of the upper spine bones) that required for me to recuperate for about 3 to 6 months. But how fate would have dictated the circumstantial event of her wish for me to come on August instead of January? It was on that fateful day of August 4 that changed the complexities of my life, as I received very distressing news that my mom had suffered a stroke. It was one of the most painful and heartbreaking news I ever received in so many years of enjoyable gift and happiness that God had bestowed upon me. I muttered in silence the words that only God and I would be able to hear. Now I do believe that nothing in life is all pure joy and pleasure, for I believe in the equanimity of God’s Law, that the way we live is measured by how God wants us to experience also the pain, sadness and sorrow. My wife had accompanied me and while we were on the plane, so many inevitable thoughts tried to dance in my mind. Pretending to be sleeping, I reminisced her 90th birthday which we had celebrated last year, the face of a satisfied and grateful woman, as beautiful and accomplished in her momentous life of yore. But in her present condition now, I am neither inclined nor willing to confront the sudden changed scenario, the contrasting environment, where pity and sadness will drown my innermost feeling. I admit I am not used to this. My mom is the only reason that I always make my plan to take a vacation in Ondoy. Now I am so scared. Never has this feeling of cowardice trying to undermine the strength of my personal character. I had never been so afraid in my life even when ultimate death comes face to face with me while I was assigned in a war torn country of Vietnam. I froze at the thought that the preponderance of negative thinking is about to unfold. It is always a real threat to our own belief when we are presumably disheartened to face the real situation in life. I was prepared to resign to the inevitable and inescapable adversary of misfortunes; for I believe that tragedies befalling us are not the doing of God but our own way of disregarding the significant of medical symptomatic advice. Even I too was a culprit of my own doing because I did not listen to my personal doctor.
Arriving at the Ibajay District Hospital was not a pretty sight to comfort my own feeling. There she was confined in bed with Nasogastric tube inserted through her nostril and down to her stomach. I flinched with a sigh of pity, agonizing in anguish toward my mom as I imagined how uncomfortable it is to have the fluids and other substances passes through her nose. Also an Intravenous tube was injected within her veins. I felt so numbed and helpless. I don’t know how long she will be confined in the hospital, but as a son, nothing else has there been for me to do but to offer my undying love and affection, to give her strength and wishing her a speedy recovery. Through prayers and believing in miracles, I leave everything up to God, the ultimate Savior of all our undertakings in life.

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